There are two truths.
There is this one:
A mango banana smoothie.
A mild blue-sky day with a gentle breeze.
A floral summer skirt.
A table in the sunshine, where I work on the edits of my book and feel pleasure and pride.
And there is this one:
A crushing weight on my chest.
A darkness and despair within.
A sharp twist of pain.
A table in the sunshine, where I work on the edits of my book and feel hollow and fake.
Sometimes self-loathing lurks in the corners, slouching, watching, waiting. And sometimes it creeps up on you, climbs up your back, settles on your shoulders, presses down.
Sometimes you can shake it off. Clear your mind. Accept the first truth. Enjoy the sunshine.
Other times, it won’t loosen its grip and the second truth overcomes you. Blocks out the sun.
Today it’s the second truth.
But perhaps tomorrow, it will be the first again.